Reading through Numbers has stirred up my heart in ways I did not imagine. It blows my mind to think about. I mean, God makes a promise to His people after establishing how serious He is about following through on promises. He delivers them from slavery in Egypt. Then, they see Him at work as He guides them and protects them. God uses a spokesperson to relay direct messages so that what He wants for the people is not confused. The Israelites even saw God do some crazy stuff and provide for them over and over again. Even then, they doubted Him. They complained, whined, and questioned. They were torn apart by the lack of trust for a God that made Himself so clear as He worked to fulfill His promise. It drove me crazy as I read through the book of Numbers to think that the people of Israel could complain out of a lack of trust for a God who didn't have to prove Himself, and yet He still did over and over again.
I think the reason why it was so hard to read through the book and constantly hear the complaints of Israel was the fact that I do the same thing--and it drives me crazy! I cannot seem to remember how faithful and powerful God is and I find myself stressing or worrying about things that are out of my control that God already has all figured out. It is easy to run out of hope and faith when you forget to remember who God is and what He has done over and over again in the past.
Personally, I have felt like I am an Israelite wandering in the desert who has forgotten all about God's character. I have gotten so irritited with my circumstances that I forget to stop and stand in awe of God. As I read through this book I remember thinking, "If God made Himself this clear to me, I would so not question His will." Then I realized, He does! I just forget to pay attention most of the time. Or almost worse, I expect God to perform how I want Him to as if He is some sort of circus animal or something. Ha! The God of the Universe cannot be dumbed down to some self-centered expection for Him to do what we want, when we want it. It is extremely humbling to think that although I tend to miss it mosst of the time, God still shows up. Where I fail, He is great. When I stumble, He is secure. When I can't hold on anymore, He is strong. When I have nothing to hold onto, He provides. When I'm lost and alone, His arms are open. When my plans fall apart, His are perfect. When I forget, He still is.
Take some time to just stand in awe of who God is, and remember. HE is love--and love always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. So let's stop complaining and start abiding in the arms of a God who loves us enough to provide what's best, even when it isn't easy.
God is good.
He doesn't need to prove that with actions,
He just is.
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